Hmm...I dont know.....

I'm actually in a good mood tonight. A bit tired..its been a long week, but not so bad really.
True I still have to get up an work again early tomorrow morning again. That is just for a while and then I can relax most of the rest of the weekend.
I need to make a serious effort to gather all my deductible info and get my taxes done this weekend. I do them online so its not like I have to go anyplace,its just a time consuming thing...REALLY time consuming. But it can be done.
Probably between that, working on and off and needing to do at least some laundry, I won't get to do much writing, which is what I'd rather be doing. 
I keep telling myself I will have time to write later...and then later, I say later again...so much time passes. I have not written a decent poem in a while now, and I love to do that. Such a free form of expression for me... Hmm....

Wanting to understand so many things
Wishing I just knew how it will all work out.
I know that whatever happens is what was meant to be.

I no longer try so hard to control things,
but then I wonder if I let too many things just go
without my trying to anything about them.

Putting it off and knowing I shouldn't
That the time is not endless for this...
If I don't do what I know I should, I know
I will regret it later,
when it's too late.

I keep reminding myself
that if I don't reach out soon,
I will never be able to say things I really want to
in the time there is left.

I grew up loving the person he is
and he has withdrawn from everyone now.
I can only begin to understand just how he feels.
And yet, the thing that seems important to
 to me now...is that I want him to know
just how loved and accepted he is.

I'm told he has already given up
and wants to let go...
but that's not the man I knew him to be.
He used care... it used to matter.