Pieces..more

That evening in my room I was not disturbed at all by Gabe.  Maybe he was busy unpacking or something, I didn't check on him at all so I really don't know what he did while I was hiding away in my room.  I wanted to think that he had just settled in and relaxed and hadn't thought about me, and what I was doing locked in my room 

The next morning I got up for work and when I came out Gabe was still asleep. Not sure of his work schedule, I did not disturb him.  I had breakfast and got out the door before he was up at all.  Not a thought as to my collection while I was gone.  He didn't know it existed so how could he look for it? Why would he?   My day was a normal one, as normal as I could have, anyway.   I just had no thought that anything could be wrong.  I should have though.

By the time I got home that evening, with three more pieces of paper to add to my collection, Gabe was there in the living room, he had the tv flipped on and was settled on the couch watching some odd thing or another. I didn't really look at it.   He looked up at me and said "Hey." when I came in.  I said hey back to him.  He went back to his show and nothing else was said at that point.  I looked around, he had cleaned up the apartment while I was at work. It looked nice, he had done the things I had not done in the last few weeks, like vacuuming the living room, and mopping the kitchen floor.  He was into his show so I didn't say anything to him at that point.  I made a mental note to thank him later for it. 

He had not made anything for dinner, as I said before, cooking was not his thing.  So, I got some quick stuff out of the cabinets and whipped up something in a fairly short amount of time and told him, "Dinner is served."  He looked up and smiled. And we sat down to a good dinner.  Nothing much was really said while we ate.  I figured this was his way of settling in and still letting me have the space he knew I was used to.  He commented that dinner was good and he said thank you to me for it.   I nodded back to him in return. Letting him know it was all good.  We put our dishes in the sink afterwards and he told me to leave them, he would take care of them tonight, it was the least he could do. 

As usual, I had some pieces of paper in my pocket that I had collected throughout the day, really only two for today, but they were waiting for me. I wanted to get to them. Look them over and see where they fit in my collection. I didn't say anything to Gabe as I headed towards my room, but he spoke up as I approached my door.

"Hey, was hoping you could hang out here tonight.  Wanted to talk a bit and maybe we could watch a movie.  I could use the company about now." he said to me then. 
I sighed, not too much so but enough that maybe I could make the excuse that I was tired and just wanted to take a nap or something, anything to get into my room and take out my collection.
Gabe, I get it, I said, you've been alone for a while, but I'm beat tonight. Let me take a rain check?" I said to him.   He didn't answer for a minute or two, maybe considering what he wanted to say.  

"Yea, ok.   I had assumed that was what it was last night, you were tired. But then your light was on in your room till late. And I know you don't sleep with the light on, you never have in your whole life.  You make a habit of it and I may take it personally, like you don't want me here or something."

I told him then, again, that he was welcome here, for as long as he wanted or needed to be here.  But, I also told him, sometimes I was going to want my space still too, it was what I was used to here.  He conceded,  "Well ok, maybe tomorrow night we can go to a movie or something then."  I didn't really reply, just sort of nodded and went into my room, closed the door and locked it behind me.  I let out a really big sigh then.  Was this what it was going to be like every time I wanted to go to my room and be alone?

I lost myself after that, going through the papers and my notebook again.  Really, that is the best way to describe it, lost myself...  when I was there with those pieces nothing else seemed to exist. Nothing else was in my thoughts.  I hadn't really thought about it before then, but I started to realize just how all-consuming this really was.  I heard a rustling outside my door, in the hall. and the light came on out there, I saw the dark shadows of someone walking by my bedroom door. They stayed there for a minute and then moved away.

It was then that I realized that Gabe was probably really wondering what I was doing in my room. Not that he thought, as I had said, that I was just tired. But that because my light was still on in my room, he knew something was going on in here.  I was going to have to protect my secret very carefully now.  If he got to wondering he would not just stop anytime soon.  That night before I went to bed, late again, I bagged up my collection and put it in the back of my closet, instead of the dresser drawer it had been in the night before.   Less chance Gabe would be in there than in my dresser drawers. I'm not sure why I thought that but I did.  Really, I still figured Gabe would not invade my privacy in my room. 

The next morning when I got up Gabe was already up and dressed for work.  He really didn't say much to me as he had his coffee and got ready to leave for the day.   I told him to have a good day, on his way out the door. For a minute, I debated calling in sick today, so I could be home alone while Gabe was gone all day. I wanted to, but thought better of it when I remembered there was a deadline for a project I was on at work.  Without another thought of it I got myself ready and left for the day also.  I had no idea what Gabe's work schedule was, so I did not know he would be home a couple of hours before me that evening.