So, today was an interesting day. Eventually figured out what was going on with work this afternoon and it's all back on track...pretty much, I guess.
My happy time was tonight. I spent time with A for the first time in a while now and it was relaxing and fun, a lot like it used to be with him. Neither of us brought up a lot of the past, except I did talk to him about grandma some. It told him something he didn't know and made a difference in how he had been viewing my behavior. I think it helped really.
I knew there had been stress around the subject of Bo too, but B mentioned cats and I told her all about what happened with Bo, so she could tell A. Took away the awkwardness of the situation and A will know it was all resolved in a good way in the end. Something else we can put in the past and move on from now.
Dinner was great and it was so nice to see his smile and listen to his jokes again, it had been too long. I really missed him. B was actually pleasant to me too and it was a comfortable meeting, hadn't had that for a while now.
I think I'm learning to navigate with A now and I'm so grateful that it's happening finally. The estranged and angry thing from him actually hurt a lot after all the years of being close. It's nice to see that he realizes I still love him and he is becoming ok with that again.
The idea of the blog..looking around at people, and myself. This fits it well.
It's okay to look at people I don't know but if I get a chance to examine my own relationships and understand them better, that's a definite plus.
A is one of the people I care most about in this world and to have him back in my life again means so much to me I don't know how to put that into words. I guess time does heal wounds, even though I never really have understood what exact wounds I caused. What is important is that they were wounds he felt I had caused him and he needed time to heal from them a bit before we could interact again. That pained me, I missed him, I missed how things used to be between us.
I'm not really one to take things for granted, I tend to notice and appreciate what I have, and earn it. One of my pet peeves has always been the sense of entitlement people have at times. They get something given to them and they just assume they deserve whatever it is that is handed to them. Often so much so they forget to say thank you and appreciate the person(s) who gave it to them. That's so not me and I think those who have so much and don't take the time to realize where it came from and appreciate it, are somehow walking around feeling like they are better than anyone else. I've seen far too many people like that and it saddens me because they don't learn how to share.
We are all parts of a whole on this planet. We coexist, or at least we are supposed to. So, what does hatred get us? Why do we hate others who are so much more like us than we often realize. We are all part of the human experience, collectively or separately. That is why I try so hard to understand others, their lives their reasoning, their mistakes, their triumphs their failures.
I honestly do not judge others. I do my very best to keep an open mind about someone. I can form opinions but I, at the same time, realize that the opinion is based solely on what I know about a person. There is ALWAYS a lot more about them that I don't know. If I look at a situation with anyone in that way, I realize that there is no way I can judge someone wrongly because I just don't know... That and the fact that everyone does what they do for a reason.
Whether what they do is socially acceptable or not, there is always a reason. Even if they don't know themselves what it might be.
That to me, is what makes the human experience so interesting, differences from one person to the next and their lives and morals and ideals, dreams and hardships and victories, no matter how small. As I said, everyone has a story to tell. Even if they don't want to tell it.
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