So, I have talked to a person or two in my family since I last posted here. Going to be a bigger deal at Thanksgiving than I thought it would be. Apparently everyone wants to come here since they know I'm going to be here and cooking...something lol A gathering for just my brother and I has turned into a gathering for at least 9 people now. You can bet I'm planning on delegating things so I don't have to buy and fix it all. Being fair about this... Going to be a busy interesting day.
I'm STILL working on getting rid of this crud I've had for over a week now. It makes it hard to work with it but I did today anyway. Only lost my voice once while talking to a customer, not bad!
I, like a lot of people, I'm sure, had spent a lot of time since last night watching the rescue of the Chilean miners. All 33 of them are up now and its been a fantastic thing to watch, the family reunions, the idea that they are all fairly healthy looking despite being underground for so long. And the pride that country feels now at having brought them all up alive. A toast to Chili for that. Its been crazy but looks like they finally ended the drama and made a lot of people happy. That's a nice thing to see in the news for a change. My local news is just more about gang violence, people getting hurt and all that is wrong with my little slice of the world. Maybe that was why I was so drawn to the miners being rescued. Something that was good news for a change. Happy people who did what they could to make a good outcome for these men.
I have had more time to think also, about the story I started a few days ago, and haven't done any more work on yet. I like the shape it is taking in my mind. So, I may do a bit more with it in the next couple days. Getting to where I'm not sick anymore has been a slow process and I haven't had energy to do anything at all.
This is just a normal night of the week, there isn't anything special going on. I called my brother and broke the news to him earlier that its going to be a lot more than just he and I for Turkey day. He, at least, offered to come early and help with stuff. I took him up on it lol.
I've got a quiet time right now. I'm the only one home and no one expects anything of me. Just the way I like it. I have already grown used to having my own space again. It had been years since I could say that. I didn't have my own room, I slept on a couch and had no privacy. But standing up and doing something about it finally, has paid off. I think that if anyone were to ask me if I wanted to live with my mother again...that would be a cold day in Hell lol.
I don't hate her or anything, but I like the idea that I can be an adult and not be judged on every thing I do, or don't do that she does not approve of. It's my life, not hers and I finally get to enjoy it without her standing over me passing judgement or getting into my things all the time. What is seen as a more normal life really. I can actually be sick and have a place to sleep whenever I need to, not in a living room and waiting for everyone else to go to bed at night or anything like that any more, so that I can have peace and quiet to rest. Nice.
I've been missing B though. Having to give him up was a choice I had to make to gain my freedom here. I think I will always regret that part of it. At least he has a new home and is safe and well cared for. That is the good part of it. I will always love him and I have pictures still for good memories of him. I have had to make myself move on from my life with him.
So, my quiet little life here. As I said in my profile, sometimes I think too much and act too little. I like the quiet, and I hope to be able to let a part of me that has been caged up for far too long, out of the cage a little at a time. Until, one day I'm doing what I wanted to do years ago. I'm not ready to say just what that was. Nothing bad I promise. But I need to learn to be free again. I haven't known that feeling for a very very long time now. One step at a time, like so many other things in life.
I've dribbled on enough for one night.
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