Playing along...

So, I haven't really decided if I have a subject name for this post.  Playing along? Games...  I don't know yet.
From time to time its something I think about.   The daily stream of life in general. People doing everything they do. And I get to wondering why about it all.   Yea I know, human experiences etc Relating, connecting to one another.  I get all that and yet I don't.  Hell, I participate in it everyday just like you all do. But do I really understand it? Not really.
People doing things they see as accomplishments. Running faster than someone else, jumping higher, scoring more points in a game. Making a movie and getting millions of dollars.  Participating in life, I know, but what's point of all of it? Being better than you or anyone, why should I try to be? What does it really matter? Is there a point to it?  We do things, or we don't do things and time passes and those things really don't matter. But what motivates us in the first place? Racing, competing, doing anything we do, is there a point to it all? If there is, I don't have any idea what that is. 
My thing is to survive in life, but surviving doesn't mean being better than the next person or doing anything to affect their life.  I play the game daily, at work mostly. I do what I do as quickly and as efficiently as I can. Some see me as really good at what I do, others, not so much. And the only thing that matters about it all to me is that I have the job the next day, next week, next month so I can continue to play the game.  I don't care if I'm better at what I do than others are, all I care about is if it gets me what I need to survive. And, maybe that is part of what everyone elses motivations are too.  But what makes them want to do things that don't help accomplish any specific goal in life? What causes them to enjoy playing a game and being better at it than someone else is? Why does it matter?
Part of my problem is, I think, that I don't see the answer to that.  I think about this little ball in space that we are on, each person doing many different things each day etc, and in the scheme of things it all means nothing really. Sometimes I choose not to participate because I just don't see a point to it.  To me, people are self absorbed and out for themselves. It really doesn't matter to me.
Like this blog I'm writing now, its not for you.  You can read it if you choose to or not, I don't care. It's just reflections of what goes through my mind at any given time. Things that don't matter to anyone else and are not really important at all.  I can do this, or not do this, really makes no difference does it?
I'm not nuts or depressed or anything like that. I participate when I need to.  Do what I have to to survive and all. Even do things to please others on occasion. But I don't have to.  I don't have to do anything really. No one does.
I know, this sounds really down and depressing to think that anyone doesn't need to do anything to contribute to society in general. But its what people choose to do on a daily basis and I wish I could understand it better.
People do foolish looking things that have absolutely no meaning, and then show it to others. What for? It just makes no sense to me at all.

I say all of this and yet, other days, like the one when I created this blog, I say that I want to know why people do what they do. The difference being not trying to understand the big picture and how futile it all is, but understanding the person. What they want in life and learning about their stories. So, I guess in my own odd way I do care, or am at least curious. I can show compassion when I need to, and I can understand others when they want me to, or need me to.  But one day I'd really be interested in picking just one person who did something major, be it a good thing or bad, and just learning about why they did it and if they thought at all about the effect of their action on those around them. Or, if it was done to someone, why they did it to them and what they expected the outcome to be. Or, if they even thought about these things at all. That, and checking out the ripple effect. Because that is usually a major thing. 
Enough for now. If any of this even makes any sense... I will read it over again later and see what I think.